I have been told repeated that I should blog. I don’t even fully understand the purpose of blogging….I guess I’ll just be posting about my life here instead of Facebook from now on. 🤷‍♀️ It’s lookin like this first one might be a little boring but give me a little bit of a break here…I’m trying!!

You know Newtkn’s Law “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”? I think I accidentally made that my life motto. I didn’t choose it….it chose me! OK let’s catch up a little here. Usually I am posting to people who know me personally. Since that isn’t the case here I should probably introduce myself first. These details may or may not prove significant in future blogs. (This is gonna get long…work with me here.)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. I wasn’t actually around for all that but sometimes it feels like I was! I was born in a small town in SC in 1979. (Yeah we’re takin it way back!) My mother was originally from Philadelphia, PA and my father was originally from small town SC. Well it took about 3 years for that to go to pot! (Remember Newton’s Law) It didn’t take too long for my mom to realize that there was a lot of sunshine and bugs in the south and just maybe she wouldn’t get along so great with her prim and proper, Southern Bell mother-in-law. So she packed me up and headed north to her family with plans of my dad following but that did not sit well with my grandparents! You don’t just up and leave with their grandchild! Since my mom obviously wasn’t gonna live in the south and my grandparents/dad obviously weren’t gonna live in the north….looks like the only thing left to do was to fight over where I would be living! Well the south may not have won the Civil War but they won this one easily! I got packed up and shipped back south.

Let me tell you about some of the fun you get to have when your mom lives in PA and your dad lives in SC. I flew, by myself, back and forth between PA and SC…..3 times a year from the age of 4 (they lied about my age cause you’re supposed to be 5 to fly alone…at least back then.) until I was out of high school. This is all well and good until the teen years! Teenagers don’t take well to being removed from all of their friends during EVERY school break! Ugh! Don’t do that to your kids people! Just a little public service announcement there…

Alright so we got through the traumatic childhood years and I’m almost 18 and have someone willing to send me to college and foot the whole bill!! No Problemo! Everyone’s dream come true and the opportunity of a lifetime!!! Right?? Only problem was….I was in love! That stuff will mess you up people!! Seriously think twice before allowing that to happen. So I did go off to college and I tried to love it but it just meant less and less time with the guy I was so in love with and I couldn’t stand it anymore. After about 3 months I left college late one night to come home and inform my step mother and my father that I was dropping out and before that I spoke to Mr Wondeful and his family to be sure I had somewhere to go because I had no doubt that my family would disown me! I got my living arrangements worked out and moved into a horrific house! Y’all….floors were missing, cats were dying in walls, expired raw chicken was left outside for days to feed the cats. There were so many cats all over that at one point I was leaving the yard and accidentally killed 3!! At one time!! There was one under 3 of the 4 tires!! 😲 There was a driveway lined with metal scraps and left over building materials. You would get a flat tire almost weekly. Y’all get the picture? It was a little rough but I was more than happy to be there cause I was in love! 🙄 (It literally pains me to type this!)

OK so…:First comes love then comes….Oops I forgot that part….then comes Michelle with the baby carriage! Luckily we had moved up in the world before the baby came. We had a luxury (please note sarcasm) one room (do not mistake for one bedroom..:literally one room) apartment. And at the ripe old age of 19 I was living in the lap of luxury with Mr Wonderful and my awesome baby boy! Now eventually babies start moving and one room is kinda pushing it for two mobile humans….ya throw in a third one and things get kinda tight! So we set out to find a bigger place which we definitely could not afford. We found a place (not the greatest) but it would put us even farther from my grandparents (these are the ones who fought for me and now I have a little one so…history kinda repeats). My grandparents offer to build us a house across the street from them so that they can have the baby closer and we’ll be better off and won’t have to move farther away etc etc etc. That’s a little hard to turn down in any financial situation…:let alone the one we were in at the time! So yes please and thank you….let’s build a house. I…..like me, myself, and I…..decided it would be a good time to get married! I’m fairly certain Mr Wonderful just went along with this cause….I don’t know why because…maybe because he was stuck, maybe because there was a house in it for him…maybe he was in love but I’m not so sure on that one. I think I left out a few important details about Mr Wonderful…..he was a lying, manipulative, alcoholic, drug addict, gambling, cheating, verbally abusive dude! This is literally the words I said to a friend when I was explaining why we were getting married….”Well I just figure he’s already done everything he could do to me and I haven’t left him yet so we may as well get married….the baby and I will have the same last name.” Another public service announcement…..MAYBE…just MAYBE you shouldn’t get married because ya don’t think your significant other could treat you any worse! First of all you’re wrong and second of all….it builds up!! Trust me!!

Alrighty, now we’re about 2 and a half years in to this wonderful marriage and living in our new built home with our beautiful baby. I can’t pretend to tell you how many times we’ve split up…seriously…I don’t know! This most recent split up I think is for good but we end up back together and pretty soon into that reunion I realized this was over….BUT I was an only child and I DO NOT want my son to be an only child!! I also didn’t want to spend my life telling stories about how this baby daddy lives here and that baby daddy lives there and sign papers with all different last names etc!! So I may have decided to have another child knowing that the relationship likely wouldn’t last….just probably.

The second bouncing baby boy arrives….upside down and sideways and with a lot of pain but he was cute so I forgave him! Let’s fast forward a year….I’m still with Mr Wonderful….I’ve hung on a good while. There was a party at my step brother’s house and I went with the boys. (Mr Wonderful rarely attended anything with me.) The party was a pool party and here I am alone in the pool with a 4 year old and a 1 year old! That ain’t easy! My brother’s friend came over and started helping with the kids! 😲 No questions asked just helped with whatever I needed…..figured it was too much for me to handle on my own so he helped. THAT my friends, was the beginning of the end!!

It NEVER occurred to me that there were men out there willing to take care of their own kids….let alone help with someone else’s kids! I was genuinely in shock! That day played over and over in my mind for a year! I made jokes here and there to friends and family….”If I ever get rid of Mr Wonderful, I’m going after that guy!” I never really thought I would get rid of Mr Wonderful but one day…..I snapped! (Nobody is dead don’t worry!) I was out cutting grass and my mind just kept going and I FINALLLY decided that if I was gonna raise these kids alone then I would rather raise these kids alone! Short version…..I told him I was done and to get out and it was finally the final time!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch….:that guy that helped with the kids over a year ago….well I just happened to hear through the grapevine that he was still single! I put on my STALKING cap and got to work! 😂 We’ve been married for almost 11 years now! ❤️

There is a whole lot of tragedy and drama that I left out of there. Maybe we’ll save that for another day because, believe it or not, I intend for this to be a fun blog! I just thought we should have a little history laid out first. Very short version of the other drama (just cause it may come up in future posts) is that I am the only child and only grandchild on both sides of my family!! Now that is awesome when you’re a kid at Christmas or birthday time…..but when you’re an adult with aging relatives it’s a little tricky! At this time the only older relatives that I have left are my grandmother (prim and proper southern bell) and my Aunt. I had to care for almost everyone else who has passed away at some point in my life! Thank God that all came AFTER I found a real man! I don’t know that I would have survived it without him!

I feel compelled for some reason to share this…..I am often told that I am funny. My oldest son is constantly told the same thing. I have always appreciated comedians and funny shows, movies, etc. When Robin Williams committed suicide, it had a huge effect on me! I obviously never knew him personally and didn’t even see all of his movies or stand up routines, but he was an obviously gifted comedian! Very talented! To me, his suicide made it impossible to ignore that most comedy comes from pain! It’s a coping mechanism. I’m sure there are comedians who have no trauma at all but I think if you pay attention you’ll notice that either their jokes are derived from their painful experiences or just that they want to make people laugh because they know how miserable it is to be sad. I hope that everyone will pay attention and yes, enjoy your funny, talented friends but be mindful of how they may actually be feeling and give them a soft place to land. That’s the end of my crazy rant.

Now that y’all know me a little…..hopefully we can have some blogs that are a little more fun! I think I’ll try to sum up my week tomorrow. It’s been a  doozy!!!