A Diary Of My Self Inflicted Torture!

I decided it would be a good idea to try to go a whole month without social media. (Blogs not included) I don’t know what I was smoking that day but I’m fairly certain it was laced with something BAD! Let’s see how it’s going…

Day 1

Well I’m up and ready! Nobody else is ready yet! So Imma sit here and stare at the wall till they are!

Bestie sends me a link to social media!! WTH?? People, who I already told not to use messenger to talk to me, decided to use messenger to talk to me! I know this only because that is the only app I forgot to delete! I think I should keep messenger since my son is trying to sell a boat…

I’m sitting in my chair doing ALL of my devotions (cause there is now unlimited time) and I notice a tag on the lamp beside me. It’s been there for YEARS! I’m not even the first owner of the lamp…..I am owner number 3! Yet nobody has ever cut the tag off this lamp! Well…..no social media has freed up just enough time for me to finally cut the tag off the lamp! I feel so accomplished!! Let’s see what else we can get done! I walk in my bedroom and notice the perfume I got for Christmas (like 8 perfumes) sitting in a box still! Well we can’t have that! Let’s find a home for these bad boys! Woohoo! More accomplishment! Now that I’m in the bathroom putting up my perfume, I notice the bathroom should be cleaned and I got plenty of time for that! Viola! Clean bathroom! Ya know…..I’ve been meaning to get my oil changed. I bet I could call Karen and we could drop off my truck and get some lunch! Make it so #1! Seriously….it’s like I’m walking around with a magic wand!

Hubby comes home and says “Well I see ya found Jesus!” Heck yeah! I found Jesus, perfume, tags, scrubbing bubbles, and some lunch!! Oh and tonight is workout night with KA! Woohoo!

25 times on steps

200 crunches

120 push ups

35 sec plank x2

40 sec plank

45 sec plank

For those of you who don’t know, I’m fat! So this ^^^^ deserves a standing ovation! Seriously! Put down whatever device you are using to read this and stand up and clap for me! Thank you!!

Day 2

Well….I did more yesterday then I usually do in 6 months so I think I can slow my roll a little. I think I’m more desperate to be around people. I went out to lunch again with some friends. This luncheon was so much more interesting than just meeting a few people for lunch but I’m not sure how to tell my story without offending anyone. Ummm maybe we’ll come back that that some day.

I read…..A LOT! Still plenty of time for devotions…..also plenty of time for Stephanie McAfee! (Diary of a Mad Fat Girl)

I did cook supper! See…..I’m still accomplishing things!

Tonight was a painting party with friends. I

was questioned repeatedly about my choice to stop social media. It’s like people are mad at me for not being on social media. That’s both flattering and aggravating. I mean I’m the one making the sacrifice y’all! Lol!

I was also asked repeatedly if I heard about the pedestrian bridge in Florida…..NOPE!! I know NOTHING! For two whole days I have been cut off from the world!! However…..I also don’t have to be sad about the bridge! Ohh…..did I just find an up side to no social media? Hmmmm…..

Day 3

I have a lot more time in the mornings! I’ve just been sitting and talking to my husband. I’m not sure yet if he’s enjoying it or just wishing I would leave him alone. Today he’s sleeping in so I’m just gonna read I guess.

I believe my eldest child is becoming a morning person which ya think would be a good thing cause he’s usually such a booger head in the mornings……but I’m not a morning person so I find myself wanting to chop him in the throat! Still got time for multiple devotions and breakfast every morning! Maybe that’s what’s keeping me from chopping people?

Tomorrow is Hippie Fest with Amy! I’m so excited! I have to try to TyeDye our shirts for tomorrow. I’m nervous cause Amy wants a peace sign which I have never done in my life!! I’ve only done Tye dye maybe twice ever! Anyway….I get to work and they turn out great!! Do you have any idea how hard it is to accomplish something like that and not post pics?? Good gravy! Jesus take the wheel….

Day 4

Hippie Fest!! So many pics…..so little posting! I can’t take it anymore!! I wanna show people all my pics! 😩 Seriously!! Who goes to something like Hippie Fest and doesn’t post pics? My life has no meaning! It’s kinda like….if a tree falls in the woods and there’s nobody around to hear it….does it make a sound? Well……if a person goes to Hippie Fest and there are zero pictures posted on FB……did the person really go to Hippie Fest?? Who knows!!??

Day 5

Well it’s Sunday and I didn’t go to church this morning. I mean…..not like I can post it on FB so who would know if I went anyway?? Just kiddin….kinda. I was just slack this morning! The Hippie Fest that I may or may not have gone to may or may not have worn me out. (I’m getting a little bitter!) Besides….I have to cook for church tonight and I haven’t even bought the groceries I need yet! Can’t remember what I was doing yesterday that prevented me from getting them! 🤔

I am noticing that I leave my phone a lot more. I would normally never leave my phone sitting in another room let alone repeatedly all day! Maybe I will get used to this eventually! Maybe….

Day 6

I was thinking it had been a whole week. Not really sure how I feel about this no social media thing. I do think I’ve been a little less stressed and a little less scatterbrained. I also feel like I am completely in the dark about everything and I’m constantly missing out on things! I miss posting every crazy random little thing that pops in my mind. Where will I be after a month? I mean…..I’m keeping this little journal so I can remember things I’d like to post and so I can document my experiences but I won’t remember all the little thoughts along the way! Y’all are missing so much! Lol!

Ya know, it’s amazing how long I can stare at a phone with nothing on it!! I also check my email more than ever!! Rest assured….if you are sending me emails they are getting my undivided attention! I just realized that next year I will have a whole month without memories on FB!!! Well I guess I’ll have them from previous years…

Day 7

I look at the weather now…..that’s what I do in the mornings instead of checking FB. I’m not sure how much time I’m really saving cause I’m still staring at the phone for no good reason!

I tried to send my bestie a video from the ballgame last night but she had already seen it cause she still has social media!! Ugh!! I volunteered to help Karen with a little project this morning that didn’t go so well. However….It may have contributed to the highlight of my day! After repeatedly trying to print something on her brand new printer with absolutely no luck she says, “Son of a mother…..less…..goat! Lol! Maybe I’m too easily amused right now! I mean I say stupid stuff all the time trying to avoid bad words but I don’t think I’ve ever brought a goat into it! Let alone an orphaned goat! Lol! I think I usually go with monkeys! 😂

I made plans to meet my bestie for lunch after the goat experience. Well I sent her a message saying to meet me at HOP. For those of you who are not from around here, HOP stands for House Of Pizza. There are 3 HOPs in the area. One in a different town so that one doesn’t get confused and then the one on Sims street which I’m pretty sure only one person on the planet likes and I’m not that one person and then one on 301 which is the only one anyone should think of when they’re told to meet you at HOP (unless you’re meeting that one Sims street lady). Anywho……I’m sitting at HOP waiting on the bestie and texting her niece to see what they want to drink. She comes back with some junk they don’t even have at HOP. Any of the HOPs!! I was like….hold up! Y’all are headed to HOP on 301 right?? Nope! For the second time my bestie thinks I left the “I” off of IHOP!! What?? Seriously?? I don’t know how ya make that mistake even once….let alone twice!! There may be decent IHOP’s in the world…I honestly don’t know, but there is not one in this town! No ma’am! Nobody is going to IHOP! Anyway….I tell ya all that just to tell ya that I have to sit by myself at HOP FOREVER waiting on them with ZERO social media!!! First of all…..people are weird!! Second of all….I can not be held responsible for how many crackers and dressing I eat!

Oh….one more little tid bit for today. I may or may not have gotten fairy hair at the hippie fest that I may or may not have gone to! Well today is the day that my new “happy to be up in the morning” child discovered said fairy hair! How many days is that?? He’s getting almost as bad as my husband about noticing stuff!

Day 8

It’s Wednesday! (I guess I need to explain Wednesday’s a bit. So every Wednesday for about 5 years now I’ve been driving my grandmother to the nursing home to see my aunt (her daughter) and it’s about an hour drive. Wednesdays tend to be a little emotionally demanding. My go to for getting through Wednesdays has had a lot to do with Social Media. As a matter of fact when I decided to start this whole “no social media” thing I was told I didn’t have to go that Wednesday. I kinda viewed that as a sign that I should give it a whirl. I didn’t think ahead to the remaining Wednesdays!) First Wednesday without social media! I don’t even wanna get out of bed! I guess I never do on Wednesday day but today is even scarier! Maybe I’ll take a pill before I leave today! OK I got this!

The lack of social media really wasn’t as bad as I expected BUT that didn’t save the day! I don’t know how much detail I can go into without saying too much but short version….my grandmother is completely loyal to this car place that is AWFUL!! It takes like 3 days for them to change the oil! I can’t even hear the name of the place without my blood pressure rising significantly!! Well we drop the car at hell shop before going on our Wednesday trip and of course they couldn’t get the oil changed in only 5 hours! That would be ludicrous! So we give them till 5 that night and sure enough….still not done AND she needs break pads! 😡😡😡 I guess I’ll take her to pick the car back up in 6 months!

On another note…..my fairy hair sux! Amy’s is all beautiful and flowing and everyone loves it! Mine doesn’t go with my curly hair so people either don’t see it at all or they just think I got something stuck in my hair! Ugh! Fairy hair is being evicted today!!

Day 9

My youngest child has detention this morning. Who does detentions in the morning? I mean does the word not come from detain? Wouldn’t that imply that they stay after school? (I’m actually kinda thankful they do mornings cause he has sports every afternoon and that would not work out!) Not to mention that most of his detentions are due to him being tardy so a morning detention is a bit difficult! Hubby was nice enough to take him but here I am still not sleeping in! My stomach hurts! Likely due to all the appts I have today! Actually the first two are fine….it’s the “Lady Dr” I don’t wanna go to! Literally spend all morning stomach aching over it! My first appointment is to get my nails done. Can’t exactly complain about that one. I get to discuss with my nail lady/therapist why my stupid self decided to stay off social media for a month! Second appointment was therapy where lack of social media didn’t even make the top 10! That stupid car place did though!! Anyway then I rush to appointment 3 where I am informed that my appointment had been rescheduled (I forgot to take the old date out of my phone) so I didn’t even have to go!! Y’all….I’m fairly certain I skipped out of that office and maybe did a little twirl as I hit the door! I have never been so happy to be wrong about an appointment! All that stomach aching for nothing!

I got adventurous today and decided to eat a banana…..not good but mostly edible. I got about halfway through it before I couldn’t take it anymore! And this is one of the fruits I can tolerate! This diet thing is not going well!

My grandmother invited the kids for supper but not Hubby and me (that also made top 10 at therapy) so we decided to treat ourselves to Captain’s Quarters which is one of our favorite places to go! Hubby holds the door open and we go in and enjoy or meal. Then on the way out hubby points to the “B” on the door!! I said did you see that on the way in???!!! He said yeah but I wasn’t showing you until after I got my steak! Ugh!!! So I guess I’ll just wait to see what horrible illness I’m going to die of!

Day 10

TGIF! What shall I get into today? Tomorrow is gonna be pretty darn interesting. Got a girls’ trip planned in Amy’s bus! Wonder if I should just sleep all day in preparation or maybe do stuff around the house?? It’ll be interesting to see what I choose! I guess for now it’s book reading time until my youngest is ready to go to school.

So I ended up spending the day collecting all the tax info that I have apparently been meticulously hiding all year! After a few hours of searching and a trip to town to deliver the documents, I decide to reward myself with a McDonalds meal, watching A Few Good Men, and a McFlurry! Woohoo! Thank goodness I ate that half a banana!

Day 11

Today is Karen’s Bday Trip! I really miss posting!! We had so much fun! I mean I guess most of y’all got to see all the pics that the rest of the girls posted, but you’re missing out on my witty comments! Just sayin…. 19 more days and boy oh boy….y’all’s FB is gonna be blowin up!! I realize some of my most eventful days have the least written about them but it’s like I need the pics to tell the stories! And of course I wasn’t sitting on my phone recording every thought on my busy days.

Day 12

Church day….quiet reading….:barney attempts fort night….God help us!

First time eating catfish stew

^^^^ I left that just as it was written so y’all could have some idea what kind of notes I’m working with here! I don’t exactly have the best memory and then I have stuff like this! OK let’s see what we can come up with…

Sunday Funday! Well I made it to Church this time! Woohoo! I had actually read the Sunday School lesson but I forgot my book so….whatever…coulda been worse! Y’all quit judging! Sundays are kinda busy anymore. Our regular routine now is church, lunch, scouts, workout,church. Laundry is done in between mostly by hubby. There was no workout this Sunday so I had a fairly quiet day reading between events. Stephanie McAfee and I should be friends I think…..I feel like we’ve bonded!

The Fort Night thing….I don’t even know if it’s supposed to be knight or night! All I know is that it is a video game that has cost me a kid! I hate it! So now I’m told that my hubby has scheduled a time to try it with the kids who are going back and forth trying to get out of teaching hubby how to use the remotes. I stomach ache over this a bit during the day but he walked in the room, I heard a few bad words, and then he was back out! Lol! That obviously didn’t take! Worried for nothing!

Then back to church. I love Sunday night church right now. We’re studying Revelation and it’s really interesting but there is also food involved and that can get tricky cause I’m so picky! Well tonight was catfish stew! I make my plan to skip straight to the cake and sweet tea but then I’m bullied into trying the stew by these so called Christians! 😂 I’m fairly certain I’ve never even seen catfish stew in real life and I can guarantee you I have never eaten it. It was really pretty good! I was very pleasantly surprised! However, I was warned that just because this one was good…..I shouldn’t just go waltzing up to any catfish stew all Willie Nillie expecting it to be edible! I take that warning very seriously and will probably never eat it again! 😂 Maybe if the same people from church cook it again I can have it!

Day 13

Still staring at my phone! At least I read my devotions and clear my email regularly but I’m tired of staring at the weather app!

I don’t even know what to do with the new “morning child”! I asked him to take the trash out this morning and he just did it! Didn’t even ask why his brother couldn’t or fuss about being in a hurry! I wasn’t even sure he heard me at first! It was crazy! He gets up on his own and comes home on time! It’s like the twilight zone! Maybe I shouldn’t talk too much about it…..I don’t wanna jinx it!

Goals for today….

Vacuum house and furniture

Fold and put up clothes

Do dishes

Read till time for the game

I made it through vacuuming and putting up clothes and then my grandmother calls…..problems take a full hour to solve! Then I empty the dishwasher and remember that I bought new Tupperware! I am completely unable to put up dishes without going through all the Tupperware! Then I get a call lasting another full hour! I’m starving and I’ve read nothing and done zero dishes!! I don’t know if this is gonna work out! Ugh!

OK….I allowed myself some lunch and calmed down a little and got the dishes done before rushing off to the game! Woohoo! I got this! Stephanie will just have to wait another day till I can get back to her!

Day 14

Halfway there! Woke up after a horrific nightmare! Hate it when I have those! Basically paralyzed with fear waiting for my hubby to get up so I’ll somehow be less scared to move. Then I switched all the lights on! I don’t know if y’all are aware but if ya run really fast from switch to switch, the boogie man can’t get ya! I couldn’t watch funny cat videos or read stories to get my mind off of this stupid nightmare! I thought about turning the tv on. How does my mind even create such horrific things? I feel nauseous even thinking about it! Ugh!

I accidentally volunteered to hang eggs from a tree and build a rabbit hutch! How does that happen?

I sent Karen a text saying I wanted to get into something today. In my mind that means…hey maybe we can go shopping and get some lunch. Dave and Buster’s would have been a good response. I coulda handled that but nooooo she’s gotta be all ambitious! Having egg hunts for kids etc! My youngest kid is 15…..egg hunt is no longer part of my vocabulary! At least it wasn’t until today. I mean…..how can you say you’re too busy to help a friend when you literally just asked them to do something with you because you have absolutely nothing to do???? Note to self…….find a way to do that!! Maybe find a more cautious way to invite people to hang out in case it doesn’t go well! Anyway…..I end up tying fishing line to plastic eggs and then hanging the eggs from a tree. Some of this required a ladder! I swear I didn’t used to be scared of ladders! I don’t know what happened but I was shaking like a leaf! Also stuffed Easter baskets and put together a rabbit hutch that the UPS guy was kind enough to deliver before I left! Thanks dude! I did get fed though! Ohhh and I went to buy flowers! I mean…..I didn’t intend to go buy flowers it just kinda happened. Again….I feel like it’s a story for another day but the short version is that I don’t know jack about flowers and never even had flowers till last year cause Karen is a bully! I’ve managed to avoid actually planting anything in the yard so far and I’ve been able to postpone a vegetable garden till the year 2021! We’ll see if I make it through another summer or not! 😳

Day 15

I feel as though this would be an excellent day to play hookie! I mean it’s Wednesday and I don’t wanna play! AT ALL!!

I believe Wednesday is a reasonable use of social media!

Of course my hookie plan didn’t pan out so I was sitting at the nursing home when a friend messaged me a pic from the news channel where there was a gunman that had the interstate that I was just on shut down! 😲 Holy Cow! This kinda stuff doesn’t happen around here! So I’m DYING to go on FB or anything and find out what is going on! Also I have to get back on this interstate soon so I kinda need to know what’s going on! I’m texting anyone that will listen to find out what I can but it is driving me CRAZY! If I had FB I could just go on there and know everything!! Prob watch the whole thing goin down! But nope! I’m in the dark about everything! This is the most upsetting the lack of social media has been so far! Luckily the direction we were headed wasn’t effected so we got home with no trouble. When I finally saw the news it was nothing like I pictured! I’m picturing a guy driving down the interstate and then just stopping his car and getting out and holding a gun pointed at other drivers. Therefore I’m wondering why he hasn’t been run over yet but whatever. What actually happened was a police chase that ended on the interstate with flat tires and a guy with a gun to his head. So now I’m wondering why this took so long to settle! I mean dude wanted to die and he has shut down an interstate! I feel like we all want the same thing here! Guess cops can’t shoot anybody for anything anymore. That’s what ended up happening but I guess we needed to give him a few hours to change his mind. Heck if I know!

I get back home and put out the flowers I was bullied into buying and then take off again to a ballgame. I love watching the boys play baseball. Guess FB will be getting a bunch of baseball pics in a couple weeks. My son wants to stay for the second game and I don’t so the hubby and I go have supper together and then come back for him. I notice myself staring at the hubby’s phone while he scrolls through FB. I think I’m finally starting to do ok not looking at the phone constantly but I still hate being in the dark about everything!

Day 16

WILSON!!! I know absolutely nothing! I haven’t felt this dumb in a good while! I wanna go back to the real world with knowledge and info! Idk how we lived like this!

I haven’t done any kind of workout in 2 weeks! Between baseball and laziness there is just no time! So I tried to do a Wednesday workout and replaced the steps with jumping jacks. I went down 10 push ups per set but the rest stayed the same albeit extremely painful! So I got:

160 jumping jacks (40 was enough to think I would prob die but just maybe I could live!)

80 pushups

200 crunches

4 planks 30s, 30s,40s,45s

(This is in 4 sets)

Overall I’m proud of me but I def lost a lot of strength etc in 2 weeks!

Now that I got that behind me……..I’m sitting here trying to decide if I would want Chip and Joanna to build my house when I win the lottery or if I would want the property brothers…..decisions decisions! Love me some Chip and Joanna but the property brothers are pretty hot! I guess I should start playing the lottery so we can find out!

Ok people I’m at the end of my rope….I mean the end of my diary so far. I am becoming more accustomed to not having social media but I hate not knowing what’s going on and not being in touch with the people I only talk to through social media. I gotta say though…..I do think it’s easier to focus without my phone constantly going off and I think I spend less time worrying when I don’t know every single bad thing that happens every day or know everybody who died and how they died even if I don’t even know them! I am really looking forward to having my social media back but maybe I can just limit it a little better?? I guess we’ll find out! I’ve got just under 2 weeks left! Wish me luck!